“I`m sure you`re hoping for a boy” and other wrong assumptions..

“I`m sure you`re hoping for a boy” and other wrong assumptions..

I’m sure you’re hoping for a boy! If I had a £1 for every time i have heard that in recent weeks I`d be a very rich man, maybe not rich persay, but I’d certainly be more wealthy than I am now. You see, our family of four will be becoming five in October, exciting times in the McCann household. 18275052_10154760429911225_3158000358524230786_n 

As you do, we waited until after the initial 12 weeks before going beyond our immediate family and telling everyone our exciting news, a full 2 years and a couple of months since announcing Niamhs pending arrival Baby two on the way

This is where the frustration kicks in a little. After people get over the initial reaction of, “oh you’re going to have 3 children 3 and under, are you crazy?” They say the inevitable, “I’m sure you’re hoping for a boy”. Honestly I’m not. I’ll be happy when my third child comes along regardless of gender, if it’s a boy  fantastic as we have two girls already, if it’s a girl fantastic we now have three girls. So long as they are healthy that’s all that matters. I know people don’t mean any harm and most people we speak to seem to be saying the same thing, I`m sure I have maybe even said it myself in the past, but it carries a risk or a burden as such.

This would be especially important when you are unaware of anyone else’s history in regards children. Similar to the people who say “oh, by your age should you not be having kids by now” and “have you not given your parents grandchildren yet?”  if you don’t know the people and their situation well enough maybe it’s best to avoid giving your opinion as your well meaning conversation could be damaging.

This societal pressure of conformity  can be dangerous as people may be unable to have children, may have had miscarriages or even worse so whilst no one means any harm they can cause untold damage to individuals and families. It also creates expectation, so when my third child arrives will people ask me if I’m disappointed if it’s a girl? I wouldn’t think so but you never know. Will my reaction be monitored? Also what if it is a girl, will anyone ever say to her “oh I’m sure your mummy and daddy wanted a boy before your were born?!?!?”

Imagine that for a minute..

Yes we do live in an era where political correctness seems to be in overdrive and maybe we should all toughen up and let other people words pass by but in reality they can be damaging especially if they’re said at the wrong time or often enough..

So now all I need to decide now is whether or not to find out the gender in a few weeks!? I debated this last time before finding out Disappointed when finding out babies gender? and as with last time the only certainty is that I will be happy either way.

After all`s said and done what are we meant to be conforming to?

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