Disappointed when finding out babies gender!

Disappointed when finding out babies gender!

Well it’s nearly scan time and the option to find out the gender of our soon to arrive baby and already I’m thinking should we do it?

Why I hear you ask? Well it’s the constant assumptions people make on the subject. Comments like “I’m sure you would prefer a boy”, “you’ll be disappointed if it’s not a boy” and “a big sister for Sarah would be great”. Personally I’ll just be happy when the midwife ticks everything of and says the littlest one is progressing well with no issues.

It did get me thinking however about the benefits and drawbacks of finding out the gender of the baby.

The benefits would include the undoubted time saved by halving the time spent debating names. Also we would be greatly helped by being able to plan the details such as the room decoration and clothes buying.

One big benefit for me personally however is that we will stop ourselves and others referring to the baby as “it” or “bump” or even “number two”. None of which will make the baby feel loved. The danger is that we would inadvertently refer back to those tags on occasion when the baby is born.

The drawbacks or at least the biggest one would be the removal of the anticipation on arrival day, that’s probably the only drawback to be honest and with our second baby is the anticipation such a big deal?

Another potential drawback could be that we subconsciously start planning for both eventualities and that may mean we lose half of the excitement or anticipation when told? For me however they could be outweighed by the fact that I would intensify my excitement into whichever gender we are told.

When I think back 11 months ago I hadn`t met Sarah and yet everyday we see new sides to her character, her looks and her behaviours, who knows what the future holds!



I suppose when I weigh it all up finding out seems a logical choice but this isn’t a time for logic, and without any doubt it’s not a time for “disappointment” whatever we choose. It is a miracle after all.

I guess some people just like focusing on the negative..

10 thoughts on “Disappointed when finding out babies gender!

  1. It’s one of nature’s biggest surprises, why ruin it by asking. When some of my friends have found out at the big scan it’s always been an anticlimax when the baby has been born. It’s not their fault it’s just the way it is.

  2. Good post-we did not find out the gender for our first child, but did learn for the subsequent three (yelp…). I totally agree with the not calling the baby “it” or “bump”-we gave each one a nickname. Baby Y, Baby D, Baby T and Baby Q (coming in 2 weeks)-congrats & good luck!

    1. Thanks Eric, can’t wait until the baby arrives in a few months regardless of gender. Best wishes to you on your imminent arrival..

  3. I can see the arguments on both sides and it’s certainly a matter of personal choice. We chose not to find out the gender of any of our three in advance, but that was just us – and, thankfully, something we both agreed on. We also gave the bumps various non-specific nicknames – although for the life of me I can no longer remember what those names were. Just goes to show what several years of sleep deprivation does to your memory …

    1. Thanks Tim, I suppose I was more surprised at how everyone seemed to have an opinion on it, it being something so personal to us, that’s parenting!

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