Choosing your own adventure with a blank canvas…

Choosing your own adventure with a blank canvas…

I was going to call this post “Choose your own adventure books, the adult version”, but I thought that may have attracted you for the wrong reasons!

Following on from my previous post Redundancy and a young family I found my first ever Tesco name badge the other day, ironic really in the week they I become redundant as does my new badge. It’s Friday morning, I don’t have a shirt to iron for tomorrow, a lunch to prep or any pre weekend work dread. I feel… I don’t feel anything to be honest but yet I feel everything, excited, nervous, anxious, happy, sad.. The works!

My life has been pretty epic so far, with some natural high and low points. But in my 14 years in Tesco I’ve travelled the world, got married, had 3 children, moved house (twice) and met some brilliant colleagues and friends.. Thank you! I was also able to take two amazing periods of shared parental leave with Sarah and Niamh followed by being able to move into a part time role to support our domestic set up. In that sense and for having those early months to bond with my children I will always be grateful.

But now, what is the next chapter in my story… No more safety blanket just a blank page..

A colleague sent me a picture of me at primary school they had found (quite embarrassing so won’t be making an appearance today) , I was probably a few years older than Sarah. And it got me reminiscing back to my childhood…

As I sit at this confusing crossroads as a grown up and parent with responsibility I think back fondly to when I didn’t have any decisions to make, everything was laid out in front of me.. Dinner, homework, playtime, bedtime etc… Then I recalled the “Choose your own adventure” books, anyone else remember them from the it eighties?

For those who never had the pleasure these were books which give you choices every so often which would lead you to another point in the book, mostly you went round in circles though! Importantly though it helped you make decisions, and how to learn from them. (you can only reread the same material so many times before you give up)

That was a stressful as my childhood got, what if I choose the wrong path? What if it sends me back the way I just came from? Most importantly, what if this place wasn’t where I wanted to go..In seconds I would have forgotten about the book and been watching Bullseye of some other eighties TV. Feeling quite nostalgic now with Jim Bowen having recently passed away.

What did those books teach me that has stayed with me throughout my life… Nothing really..

But on reflection they have helped me focus and that focus is simple… I do not want my children to have any worries, I’m sure my parents would have met crossroads like my current impasse but I never knew or worried about them and neither will my three daughters know about this as they indulge in the modern day choose you own adventure. (probably some virtual reality equivalent where you close your eyes to see the future).

It also made me realise on a semi serious note that the every book has a start and an end but its what’s in the middle that counts.. (cheesy but true)


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